Secret to be share

In the windy evening, I'm alone at the third floor of my house.
At the so called rooftop of my house, where I spent my time thinking.
Well, I thinking here might be the best place to write something.
Something for all the readers out there or who passed through my blog.

I'm always tell people that I don't share things, share my feelings with others.
But deep in me, I really wanted to announce to the whole world, to let them know.
So that they could give out some times to concern about me.
I'm a person who really needs a lot of attention, from family, friends, and even from stranger.

And the reason and also the main point of writing these not because I wanted to tell you how lonely I'm.
But, lots of people (friends) often asked me, why am I still single?
These kind of questions I had heard lots of time, and eventhough, it still gave me a harsh time to answer people.
My mind will keep on turning round and round, searching the whole maze for the answer to the question.

Normally, I will just simply gave a stupid reply.

That no one want me.
I'm not good or suitable to be one.
I might be a lesbian.
I don't know how to be in relationships anymore.
Single is fun, is freedom, I want to be free.

But what I really didn't say it out was that, I'm afraid, afraid of lots of things.
I don't want to hurt people anymore, not to him not to my another half partner.
Not to my family, and also not to myself.
Cause I'm already confuse about it.
I don't know what's real, what's fake.

People always said :

When the time is right, that someone, someone special will appear infront of you.
And walk the path along with you, side by side.

I'm hoping, when will it be my turn?
When will he/she will appear infront of me.