莫名的泪水

一个人可以流多少的泪水 我就不知道
一个人为何突然流了泪水 我也不知道

有心事？ 却不知道是什么心事 或者 没法说出来
有什么方法可以使到本身说出心里话 真的好想知道
我不想又突然的流泪 却还不知什么东西弄到 现在的我

Lucy Heartfilia

Lucy Heartfilia - Celestial Wizard

The Rusty Hand

After I got home, I show my sister the sweets that I bought at the Candylicious. It was as hard as rocks, as big as baseball and as colorful as rainbow. How would I know it's as hard as rock? That's a good question. I tried to throw it on the car park floor and hoping it would crack, but no, it didn't. So I tried to lick it ~ lick and lick ~ After 2hours, I manage to lick 1 out of 10000. You can imagine, how little or much difficult to finish that sweets, cost RM11.

Afterwards, I got the feelings of drawing. I can't remember when's the last time I drew. So I took out some A4 papers, pencils ,pen and eraser, and look for some anime to draw. It don't look that good when drawing using rusty hand, but after a couple days. Finally I drew out something worth being proud and happy. Although is not prefect, but I'm happy with the results.

Results Of The First Day Drawing

The Result Of Second Day Drawing

As you can see, there's no eyes for those drawing that I drew in the first day, and there's eyes for the drawing in the second day. Well, from last time till yesterday, I have no idea how to draw eyes and hands. Until today, I put in my effort to watch carefully at video on how to draw eyes and hands. And yes, I manage to draw eyes, but for the hand, I still need lots of touch up and hard work. So that I could draw a fine hand.

春春你好

就在见春春的前一个晚上，突然间 我睡不着！不知道为什么 也不知道为何

可能是 在想关于我父母之间的事情 有可能迫不及待明天见春春 也有可能我在小气着。

我在房里走来走去，换了许多的方式睡觉 ：坐在地上睡觉，躺在地上，甚至爬在桌上。

无论是哪个方式，我还是精神满满 . . . . . . 慢慢 凌晨4点 ~ 5点 ~ 6点~ 就这样子过了

眼睛向窗口一看，就拿起手机 望去窗口的方向 ，把6点的景色给拍了下来。

这时，我听见有一个熟悉的声音 ` 原来是公鸡的闹钟。我真没想到，在发达的城市里，还可以听到~

7点咯！该准备准备一下，然后赶去 塔地铁 到 KL Sentral 见春春去，我们约好了在麦当劳那里会面。一路上，傻傻信息我 说 见到春春后 记得要通知他 （结果我忘了 xD ）远远春春就把手举起来，都没给我时间找她呢 :3
我们各自买了早餐 聊天 说笑，没想到春春跟我同高 *好高兴* 吃完后 我们就开始的自恋了。春春像疯婆似 一直拍拍拍，还想谋杀我呢 ~ 就这样呆在麦当劳2小时了~ 要永别了 虽然只是那么短短的2小时 但是我会好好保管我们在麦当劳的回忆。也希望 麦当劳的人员没把我们输入进黑名单！

回去我朋友家 拿行李 然后再次拿出手机 把那里的景色给拍了下来做纪念 ~ 实在太美了 ~





我真的是路痴，连回家的路都不会 ~害到载我回家的朋友走错路，还塞车！塞了1小时 嘻嘻

Secret to be share

In the windy evening, I'm alone at the third floor of my house.
At the so called rooftop of my house, where I spent my time thinking.
Well, I thinking here might be the best place to write something.
Something for all the readers out there or who passed through my blog.

I'm always tell people that I don't share things, share my feelings with others.
But deep in me, I really wanted to announce to the whole world, to let them know.
So that they could give out some times to concern about me.
I'm a person who really needs a lot of attention, from family, friends, and even from stranger.

And the reason and also the main point of writing these not because I wanted to tell you how lonely I'm.
But, lots of people (friends) often asked me, why am I still single?
These kind of questions I had heard lots of time, and eventhough, it still gave me a harsh time to answer people.
My mind will keep on turning round and round, searching the whole maze for the answer to the question.

Normally, I will just simply gave a stupid reply.

That no one want me.
I'm not good or suitable to be one.
I might be a lesbian.
I don't know how to be in relationships anymore.
Single is fun, is freedom, I want to be free.

But what I really didn't say it out was that, I'm afraid, afraid of lots of things.
I don't want to hurt people anymore, not to him not to my another half partner.
Not to my family, and also not to myself.
Cause I'm already confuse about it.
I don't know what's real, what's fake.

People always said :

When the time is right, that someone, someone special will appear infront of you.
And walk the path along with you, side by side.

I'm hoping, when will it be my turn?
When will he/she will appear infront of me.

The 200th post

I've forgotten what I wanted to write
I've forgotten what I angry about
I've forgotten what I sad for

But all I remembered was that I said

I will not put any symbols anymore when talking to him
I will not make any decisions so dont give me any
I will only want to help people and only having that on my mind

Trying to think so hard whats wrong
Whats make it till like that
Whats the cause between me and him
Or is only the cause came from me

The harder I tried my best to recall back
The faster those small tears gather together to form a bigger one
The one that completes and able to jump down and splash all over
All over my ipad
All over my hands
And even worse All over my pillow

Trying to recall hoping that writting this would actually help me
Without going through those conversation we had just now
My mind is a blur or it wasn't
Maybe I know what the problems of the argue or the problems of the whole conversation that I just couldn't face it
Maybe I just wanted to hide it from the facts and turn my body around and head towards the other way
The way to the deep inside my hearts where all the deep sad anger was kept

Kept from being expose again
Kept from being used from enemy
Kept from being hurted again

Negative thinking all over my mind
Darkness aura all over me
There's might be a slight brightness somewhere within me
But is so hard to chase and covered away those darkness right now

All I need right now was cry
Cry until the way I'm satisfied
Cry until I can't have another drop of tears
Cry until I felt asleep on my pillow

Yesterday, it could said that one of my wish came through. . .
Finally I got to see the KLCC fireworks, not with friends but some of my family members.

. . . . . . . . . Although . . . . . . . . .
It wasn't that perfect : Everyone there are squishing and not polite.
It wasn't that satisfied : All those smoking and people fighting.
It wasn't what I had imagine : I didn't even get the chance to count.

I get to experience it, and all my hope and imagination had destroyed (part of it).

Such as,
1) No sense of direction. Unlike other country, like taiwan. When in the crowd, they have 2 different path for them to walk different direction so they wouldn't bang to each other or make the jam worse. But here, they walk in Octagon or maybe more, from one edge to another edge.
2) There always will be a fight. That makes me scare the most. Scare of being involving into it, cluelessly and got unworthy injured.
3) When watching fireworks set of to the open sky, we should be carrying relaxing and enjoying feelings. But all I had was worried. Worrying that being hit from 4 directions. Worrying that my belongings got stolen in the crowd.



So, when can we change this kind of situation? When can we improve it? When can the Malaysian work together as one without having it in mind about different races.


Happy New Year 2013

Oh, I totally forgot. I didn't mention how I celebrate my birthday. . .
Well, I didn't really celebrate it. There's no cake no present. Hardly touch my dinner cause of the stupid cashier.
Had a movie (upside down) before counting down. Great movie, better than hobbits ! I could said.
Incredible ! The world of theirs. . . Proven that loves is much more powerful than gravity. ( thats what I think of)

The Fallen Shooting Stars